139061

Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because all of their runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic!"

"What's Dracula's favorite beer? Bloodweiser"

"""Ohana"" means family, and family means that no Monopoly game can ever finish well."

"When a woman has to pick one of three men: a smart one, a cute one or a rich one. She always chooses the asshole."

"Remember: You don't owe anybody anything. Unless they killed someone for you. Then they probably deserve a nice gift card."

"I'm ""whenever my mother calls, I think it's because someone's dead"" years old."

"I don't want your candy, what I really want is your number."

"If your Uncle Jack helped you off the horse... Would you help your Uncle Jack off the horse?"

"Obama is the first president to visit a federal prison. Hes also the first black man to be let OUT of a federal prison"