190444

Joke of the Day

"When a woman has to pick one of three men: a smart one, a cute one or a rich one. She always chooses the asshole."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth."

"What does a belt like to do? Getting Waisted"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a goodyear and the others a great year."

"How many surrealist does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish"

"[High School Reunion] Him: I started my own Law Firm last year Me: It took 2 months, but I convinced my wife Space Jam was a true story"

"Note to self: Before committing any murders, get head and shoulders. Can't be leaving DNA all over the place."

"Why has ""America"" been abbreviated to USA Because it has to Capitalize everything"

"What do you call an Isis execution recorder A daesh cam"

"Whats a pirate's favorite letter? ""You'd think it would be R but its actually the c!"" Aye matey"