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Joke of the Day

"When a woman has to pick one of three men: a smart one, a cute one or a rich one. She always chooses the asshole."

"There's an apartment building in my neighborhood that's full of guys who think they're Jesus It's a Messiah Complex"

"What do you call a drunk Muslim? Muhammered."

"Why don't priests like people having sex while standing? It might lead to dancing"

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -1 Imaginary"

"In St. Louis right now, thought this was appropriate: How many black people does it take to start a riot? -1"

"There are some benefits to having alzheimers For example, you get to meet new people constantly."

"Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine."

"when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height"

"I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live."