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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a rock climbing cow? A high steak situation"

"""Baby, I'm in the bedroom waiting for you"" Now I got your attention, let me show you a proper way to make the bed."

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaaaayyyyy! Sounds better with a stereotypical SOA biker voice. I'll show myself out."

"What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common? Failure to pull out in time"

"So I had to put German food in a container one time... It was a real wurst case scenario"

"!False //It's funny because it's true."

"This girl just said, ""You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?"" and I was all like, ""Nope."" and walked away."

"There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon."

"Why are European cars the lightest? because there's no Americans sitting in them."

"ARMY WIVES SUNDAYS AT 11 ON LIFETIME. IT'S NOT TV. IT'S NOT HBO. IT'S NOT FX. IT'S NOT EVEN WE. IT'S LIFETIME. WHAT, LIKE YOU'RE SO GREAT?"