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Joke of the Day

"There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon."

"Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one... but how do you get him in there with the cute blonde?"

"Master yoda are we on the right path... ...off course,we are"

"Q: What did the tie say to the neck? A: I think I'll just hang around."

"What is a duck's favorite TV show ? The feather forecast !"

"I was completely offended, but then you said ""no offense,"" so now everything's cool."

"I lost my job performing circumcisions I just couldn't cut it."

"Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves? Jingle Fett"

"Spoiler Alert: Ladies ,if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear it has a Camera in it."

"Dear neighbors, I am not killing my child. I'm washing her hair. Only she sees it the other way."