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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting to think that all those hours in school when I practiced writing my autograph was just a waste of time....."

"What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers"

"Why is a divorce so damn expensive? Because it fucking worth it!"

"Catch 22: Husband said if I quit Twitter he would pay for a boob job. But if I had huge jugs I would get tons of new followers. Sigh."

"How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before? He has claw marks on his forehead."

"Why is (or isn't) it okay to make jokes about rape?"

"How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window."

"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"

"Why did the dog lose the lawsuit? It was a shih-tzu"

"I almost died trying to brush my teeth with my left hand."