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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar bartender says...""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Jeff?"". budum pshhhh."

"What do you call pickled bread? Dill Dough"

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted! ~~I'm sorry~~"

"Safety Tip: Always have a loaded water gun ready to go in case of a home invasion by a cat burglar."

"Gangstas Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side? So their hats are right side up when they go to aim."

"Apparently, the serving size for Oreos is ""until you feel gross."""

"I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me."

"Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. Thestewardess looked at them and said, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrionper passenger is allowed."""

"Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. ."

"Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*"