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Joke of the Day

"What the Washington Fat Cats don't understand is that when they stopped making Doritos 3D we lost an entire dimension of flavor"

"When people say ""surreal"" they mean ""real"", it's just most of your life is not very real, just repetition and routine."

"The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think ""Pay attention! Pay attention!!!"" and miss their name."

"I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party."

"I was feeling depressed. . I was feeling depressed so I went to the doctor to get a blood test. A week later he called me back with the results and said B positive, it's in your blood."

"How do construction workers party? they raise the roof."

"A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal he sees there is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"It's no coincidence the people who call the cops when parties get loud are the people who never get invited to parties."

"Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire? A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it."

"What do you call a government consisted of burglars? A thiefdom."