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Joke of the Day

"Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station? They were scared of sparks flying."

"when Life teaches you a lesson make lessonade! im tired"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None! ... They just beat the room for being black."

"""You're going to leave me for someone younger,"" my wife explained. ""That's not right,"" I assured her. ""They could be older too."""

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning."

"What's black and taps on the window? A baby in the microwave :)"

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"Case closed Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck!"

"My buddy, David, had his ID stolen while on a business trip in Prague... ...now we just have to call him Dav."