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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why does Father Time wear bandages? A: Because day breaks and night falls."
Next Joke
"When the doctor told me that he had fitted a thermostat instead of a pacemaker, I was livid. It made my blood boil."
"What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish."
"A vampire could've photobombed every picture you've ever been in and you will never know"
"This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher."
"Who is the smartest rapper? Ice^3"
"I thought making cheese was hard. But it was a brie-eze."
"I need to thank the guy who honked while waiting for my parking spot for inspiring me to stay & write my memoirs in this Target parking lot."
"I go in hard and come out soft You blow me hard what am I? a stick of gum :D"
"How far away is the US Army's website? Just a few klicks away."