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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between you and mallard with a cold? One's a sick dick, and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother is a whore. -SNL reruns-"

"I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind man. Then my stupid boss told me I'll never be a bus driver again."

"Rest in peace Dave ""The Diamond"" Clancy, and any other celebrity I just made up."

"Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."""

"BEAUTY TIP: avoid unsightly wrinkles by being a sociopath who is incapable of feeling genuine emotions"

"It's a difficult day for me today. Today is the day I tell my dog that I am not his biological mother and that his real mother was a bitch."

"I was gonna say a gay joke Butt fuck it."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got his gas bill"

"Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'? Because they are full of Arab semen."

"I heard there are hillbillies dressing up as clowns and threatening people... They call themselves the Ku Klux Klown"