19149

Joke of the Day

"Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'? Because they are full of Arab semen."

"One hundred bacteria walk into a bar... of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor."

"slight variation on an arguable classic: How do mermaids reproduce? Binary fish-ion."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"Guy behind me at a concert recording with his iPad was pissed when I held up my 40"" monitor that was hooked to my laptop, blocking his view"

"Leaving Twitter for Facebook is like leaving the bar to go home."

"A hurricane is going to hit the east coast? Are you Joaquin?"

"Don't trust Bernie Sanders... A Jew wanting to break up the banks doesn't make sense *not meant in any way that would be seen as prejudice *obligatory post trigger warning"

"Every day, my face wakes up 3-4 hours after the rest of me."

"THEM: Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. ME: As planned."