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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but god-knows how they got in there. EDIT: [IMAGE HERE](http://i.imgur.com/1v6wJu5.jpg)"

"If bullshit was a snowflake... I'd be in a fuckin blizzard right now"

"""Doctor, I have an embarrassing medical problem..."" NSFW Well, what is it?"" asks the doctor. ""I have five penises."" ""Five penises!,"" exclaims the doctor, ""How does your underwear fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"[stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob"

"Did you hear about the steering-wheel belt? It's driving me nuts"

"Man and Women in Diffrent Combinations Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy"

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar It was tense"

"What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common? Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside"

"How come no one liked the Chinese food enthusiast? He was a mega lo meiniac."

"Studying abroad: Spending months in another country. Studying a broad: Spending months Facebook stalking Ashley."