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Joke of the Day

"What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common? Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside"

"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"

"What is the worst place to have the ""you break it, you buy it"" rule? The pet store"

"Why did the chicken cross the road half way ? He wanted to lay it on the line !"

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The reception was great!"

"How will we truly reach gender equality? By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias."

"Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much."

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"Let's make this bar joke week. Here's one to start: A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to *WANT* to change."