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Joke of the Day
"Magneto spent his high school years dating girls with braces."
Next Joke
"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"
"How come Donald Trump is on the frontpage of Reddit so much? Its all reposts from Hitler"
"Witch: Doctor doctor I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry you'll just have to go to bed for a spell."
"Fucking in lifts is wrong on so many levels"
"Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open? Because when it comes to energy they're conservative."
"""Axe"" is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them."
"I hate when I decide to sleep and my brain goes like ""Come back here! Remember that thing you did, why?"" & we stay up talking about it."
"Heat or cold Which one travels faster, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch a cold."
"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"