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Joke of the Day

"Witch: Doctor doctor I don't feel well. Doctor: Don't worry you'll just have to go to bed for a spell."

"I went to a bar with my girlfriend last night and people kept calling me a pedophile, just because I'm 53 and she is 22... ...totally ruined our 10th anniversary."

"What do you call a Reddit cockblock? [removed]"

"Fuck these annoying yellow bastards.. No I'm not talking about the Chinese, I'm talking about the minions."

"What do you call a porno with aliens in it? A science friction movie."

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Listen. You can keep retaking all the pictures you want, but that's what your face looks like."

"Why is religion like mobile gaming? Free-to-pray, pray-to-win."

"Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space? Because he was scared of vacuums!"

"The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly."