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Joke of the Day
"Why does everyone find the absolute value of zero so funny? l0l"
Next Joke
"How is an undergraduate degree like a pedophile? A minor makes both of them hard"
"Stupid millennials. Always on their phones. Always doing chatsnaps. Always being born into a world where ownership determines everything."
"Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he's wrong and you are positive their names are ""Batman and Robert""."
"A woman is good for 70 things. Cooking and 69."
"Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!"
"When it comes to making jokes about heart palpitations I never skip a beat"
"i pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool."
"I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog."
"Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account."