202280

Joke of the Day

"Stupid millennials. Always on their phones. Always doing chatsnaps. Always being born into a world where ownership determines everything."

"Van Gogh's girlfriend.. Van Gogh's girlfriend was overwhelmed with emotion when he cut off his ear and gave it to her. She said, ""Oh my love, why did you do it?"" Van Gogh replied, ""pardon?"""

"Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!"

"I got a starfish for a pet It was a no-brainer."

"What do you call a professional violinist when they're young? A kiddie fiddler."

"How to fall down stairs Step 1 Step 6 Step 8,9,11"

"I once ordered a dry martini in Berlin... I once ordered a dry martini in Berlin. They brought me 3."

"You had me until the final shot, local commercial. An employee in the back row didn't wave hard enough. No sale."

"I regret joining the gym recently.. leaving the EU would've been a more effective way to lose pounds"