134528

Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you have sex with Linux users? Open sores."

"How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask him nicely."

"My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins."

"People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch."

"My grandpa says, ""Comedians are too dark and don't tell set-up punchline jokes anymore."" So, a suicidal teen walks into a car."

"We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait."

"Why is picture of Jesus better than Jesus himself? You only need one nail to hang up the picture."

"What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !"

"What's a rancher's favorite sex position? Doggy style. You can't really do much else to a horse."

"What is the best part about duct tape? It can turn ""no, no, no!"" Into ""mmm, mmm, mmm"""