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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa says, ""Comedians are too dark and don't tell set-up punchline jokes anymore."" So, a suicidal teen walks into a car."

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"Why should you never let a panda into a chemistry lab? Because it will create pandamonium"
"Shout out to countless marine organisms who died, accreted on the seafloor, and compacted for eons so I could drive my Escalade to Kmart."
"The inventor if the anti-virus software has been charged with murder. They expect the trial to last 30 days"
"I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad."
"Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere! source: https://twitter.com/AntiJokes_Kapil"
"""Did you know Yemen is the most mentioned country in everyday speech?"" Person 2: ""Really?"" Me: ""Yeah, man."""
"What did the clock say to the class? Stopwatch you're doing!"
"I see dead people."
"Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you."