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Joke of the Day

"People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch."

"What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army? A veteran aryan."

"Make sure you your hands if you shit your pants Atleast be sanitary"

"I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice."

"An Arab is shaking a carpet on the window.A guy sees from below and asks: What's wrong with it? Doesn't start?"

"I think the elementary school music teacher was overly optimistic when she said we may recognize this next song."

"I was sailing a yacht with my stomach, abseiling"

"Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires."

"Go on vacation in Poland... ...your car is already there!"

"Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it? (Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty."