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Joke of the Day

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? There's no dental records and all the DNA matches"

"Why do fencers make terrible Redditors? They always riposte."

"Why did Satan need life alert? Because he had fallen, and could not get back up."

"Why do Jewish women like circumsized men? Because they're 10% off."

"I'd like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I'll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don't (you know why)"

"A hot babe said we could have sex if monkeys fly out of her ass, so tonight I meet with a zoologist, proctologist and some guy from NASA."

"When do Jews go swimming? When it Israeli hot"

"NutFlick and Chill"

"What's the difference between Michael phelps and hitler... Michael phelps can finish a race"

"Just ate two bacon cheeseburgers, so if anyone wants to come rob me, I won't be getting up."