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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jewish women like circumsized men? Because they're 10% off."

"Women: underwear are not hot pants/short shorts. THEY ARE UNDERWEAR AND YOU GIVE ME A BONER"

"I love going to the gym this time of year because I'm a perfect example of what years of neglect and nachos can do to a body."

"No matter how nice your kids are... ..German children are Kinder."

"How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb? Twelve, one to change it and the other eleven to start a support group called ""recovering from the darkness"""

"Don't be a doormat, be an electric fence."

"Ladies; if you're not prepared to drink the whole bottle of wine, don't even uncork it."

"Yo momma is so fat......... Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."""

"I was eating a piece of Gouda... And I was trying to describe it. I didn't want to say it was good because that would've been to cheesy."

"Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out."