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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael phelps and hitler... Michael phelps can finish a race"

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for children""... ... and I thought, ""That sounds like a fair exchange"""

"What's the best time of day? The Spanish Inquisition. . . . . . Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

"I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment."

"What do you call an angry terrorist? Amin Amood"

"Swedish Fish They aren't sweet, just sweet-ish."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""santa"" ""santa who?"" ""santander... We're repossessing your house because you haven't paid the mortgage""."

"Did you know George III never even bothered to leave his couch during the American Revolution? He was sofa king comfortable."

"They say you have safety in numbers... Sure, tell *that* to 6,000,000 Jews. [Source](http://youtu.be/Rzb_p1mRW1M?t=4m48s) I really recommend watching the entire video though, it's hilarious."

"Was watching a fetish video and it cut to the guy at the last second I think I got off on the wrong foot."