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Joke of the Day

"What does an empty bottle of Champaign and an orphan have in common? Nether of them have a pop."

"Why can not Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."

"what's the difference between reddit and 9gag? A week"

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil today? 7-1. (world cup)"

"I went on a date with a drinking straw. It really sucked."

"The dish drainer is just my default cupboard."

"In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym"

"What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber? Bruce Banner"

"How are all these African-American's able to take off time from work to riot in Baltimore? Wait... nevermind"

"My kids in public are direct payback for every time I shriek'd PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN at my mom in the middle of a crowded mall as a kid."