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Joke of the Day

"Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet? Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny"

"What was Rob Bartlett's go-to line in his WackyPaki comedian routine? Take my wife, if you would be so kind."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway"

"What does a Jewish wife make for dinner? Reservations."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming"

"TIL the tooth brush was invented in Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called the teeth brush."

"Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol one sec"

"This is why we're screwed. Quotes in the word of your god."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"There sure are a lot of hot Canadian chicks on Twitter....if I knew Canadian, I would totally hit on them."