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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older."

"Fish must really like poetry. They like things that are deep."

"With Zyan Malik leaving 1D.. *zyan malik or whatever leaves 1d. *Kayne West gets in. *kicks everyone out of the band. *there's room for only 1 direction homie. *it's West."

"I always bring an extra pair of socks when I go golfing... ..Just in case I get a hole in one."

"Just one. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"

"Plot twist: I knock on Jehovah's Witnesses doors. ""I'd like to talk to you about modern science """

"We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign. I guess that's a good constellation prize."

"What does an aardvark use when he has a cold? An ant-ihistamine!"

"Circumcision. My parents paid the bill, but I left the tip."

"In case you wondered, Fathers Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother. Mothers Day is to thank Mom for not swallowing you"