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Joke of the Day

"Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer."

"Jared Fogle began and ended his career the same way... Trying to get into smaller pants"

"A guy calls 911 Guy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Guy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Guy: The ugly one is winning."

"I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're ""goat oriented""."

"Why is it hard to break up with a Star Trek fan? Because they are such Kling-ons."

"I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over."

"Did you hear about the arms dealer who's giving away M18 Claymores with every purchase? Oh, I'm gonna get mines."

"A really funny joke. http://youtu.be/h8ycKKA7LZI A work-in-progress from my stand-up set. Tell me what you think!"

"Harry Potter: ""Hermoine, I'm gay"" Hermione: ""Are you kidding?"" Harry: ""No, I'm fucking Sirius"""

"I watch too much Asian porn... I accidentally learned to speak Korean."