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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I can't believe that!"

"What do call you it when a butt pirate calls another butt pirate on the phone? Booty call."

"Texting for beginners: STFU = Shut the fuck up. LOL = Shut the fuck up. LMAO = Shut the fuck up. ROFL = Shut the fuck up."

"*gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Israel? Hillary won't suck Bill's dick."

"Boaz must've been one hell of a roaster before he got married. Because he was Ruthless."

"*bursts out of stable on a chihuahua* ""Wait, if you're here then that means"" *cut to a horse peeking it's head out of Paris Hiltons purse*"

"A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" He answers, ""because I'm an alcoholic and I'm destroying my family."""

"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."

"Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank? So you always have access to cold hard cash..."