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Joke of the Day

"What's a somali's favorite sport? Cross-country"

"Karen on Facebook says... ""Going to the dentist now. Hate having things put in my mouth!!! :("" That's probably why your husband left, Karen."

"wife: Do you want a bowl? me [eating ice cream out of the carton] Why?"

"My husband doesn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, when I read all your tweets out loud to him. For 2 hours. Douche."

"I am quite ambitious every morning. I always do 10 sit-ups, just to hit the snooze button 10 times."

"What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE!"

"Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to? His first mate"

"Ladders causes more accidents in homes than guns That's why I have 10 guns, incase some psycho tries to sneak in a ladder. Gravity Falls has the best jokes."

"Why do native american's hate snow? Because it's white & on their land."

"I hate to tell patients that they've become physically mute... They're always speechless."