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Joke of the Day

"I need you to be open with me... ...Said the gynecologist to the psychiatrist"

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist colony? It's not hard"

"I just got one of those workout watches apparently i've masturbated 5.8 miles today"

"I ran into your mom today. I ran into your mom earlier today, she told me she made $400.05 lastnight sucking dick. So I asked her ""Who gave you the nickel?"" She said ""They all did""."

"I'm trans-GPA I'm a 4.0 student living in the body of a 2.0 student"

"Crocodile: ""See ya later alligator."" Alligator: ""yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."""

"Just saw a cyclist put his hand out to indicate he was turning left when a lone pedestrian high fived him. I feel so good right now."

"Just a simple solution. Obviously North Korea made a mistake, although we should forgive and forget. Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony? Yeah... Lets blame Sony."

"Was Nor'easter Nemo an omeN? Cold day in Hell yesterday. Tomorrow, zombies."

"If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make? Nothing because OP never delivers."