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Joke of the Day

"I just got one of those workout watches apparently i've masturbated 5.8 miles today"

"You hate it ""No I just didn't think we'd spend our anniversary here"" *pssss* ""What was that?!"" The bouncy castle is deflating"

"Salt movie review Gave me hypertension, 16/10."

"The Zika virus is officially sexually transmitted... Be careful next time you ask for ""a little head, baby."""

"[caution: black joke] If a person's last name is Black, there's every chance he/she is not of African American origin. - Because slaves don't need surnames."

"So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number... and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!"

"Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable."

"Women have a higher risk of getting pregnant than guys."

"So Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the new Hunger Games . . . If anything can bring him back, it's some powerful heroine."

"What does a prostitute and a lawyer have in common? They both screw you for $300 per hour. What's the difference? Most prostitutes have standards."