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Joke of the Day

"A woman got wooden breast implants today. This joke would be funny if it had a punchline, wooden tit?"

"Remember when we used to call the ""self check-out"" - 'Theft'?"

"I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it's like there's just no reward for laziness."

"What do you call a line of iron cats? A Feline..."

"What time is it in Brazil? Oh, it's 7 past Cesar"

"*entire building at my work loses power* *I run all the way to Linda's office* Remember when you said light up shoes were a dumb idea?"

"An advent calendar for jehova's witnesses Behind each door, someone tells you to fuck off."

"This joke will SHOCK you. how do you catch a mouse? Click baiting."

"You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you."

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."