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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."

"Finally! A joke on here you've never heard before! That's the joke. Edit: Apparently you've heard this before. [New Punch Line] (http://i.imgur.com/rQvpv5h.jpg)"

"Please hold so I can transfer you to a supervisor and accidentally hang up on you."

"Ways to get ants out of your house: 1) Ant traps 2) Say you had a good time but it's late & you have work tomorrow 3) Set house on fire"

"I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant."

"Shit Post In a packed auditorium, a hypnotist hypnotized the whole audience with a Pendulum. Suddenly, the Pendulum fell down. He said ""SHIT""... It took 3 Days to clean the auditorium.."

"What's 2 + Blink 182 46"

"Q: Why are manhole covers round? A: Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! :-D"

"When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness."