121967

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."

"Always use a fish knife when eating fish, a tomato knife when eating tomato, and a Swiss Army knife when eating a member of the Swiss army."

"I bought Fenugreek from a Drug Dealer It was a little *Methi*."

"Pick the odd one out... Pick the odd one out: eggs, meat, wife, blowjob. You can beat your eggs, you can beat your meat, you can beat your wife, but you can't beat a blow job"

"What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz? Heidi cannot swing a golf club."

"A man crashed his car A man crashed his expensive car into a tree... He finally found out how the Mercedes bends"

"Hostess:There's a 45 min wait Me:Do you know who I am? I have THOUSANDS of followers! H:Let me ask my manager *2 min later H:It'll be 43 min"

"Don't bother using those white packets of seasoning inside new shoes, they taste terrible."

"BOSS: I suspect one of you wrongly uses nouns as verbs. Everyone turns around and stairs at me."

"What do you call an angry pirate? P-irate"