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Joke of the Day

"7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit"

"What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both glide around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!"

"I can love my son and refuse to support his lifestyle... I raised him better than to game on a console."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand Binary and those who don't. *Edit: ""If you have to explain the joke, there is no joke."" - Joker*"

"<-- Pops double collar and eats hamburger with a fork and knife"

"Why are you even asking me that mom. I love jumping off bridges, either by myself or as a group, you know that."

"Kids we are running late let's go! *Kids I'm going to count every stair on the way down with out my shoes on.*"

"Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich."

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask Whoops, wrong sub"

"I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though."