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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask Whoops, wrong sub"

"Just because I don't post it everyday doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the things I have."

"What is E.T short for? Because it has little legs."

"What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus? The look on their face when you're nailing them."

"How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"My wife told me to find someone else if anything ever happened to her so I don't know why she got pissed when she found my ""prospects"" list."

"I just checked to see if I had any post, and on the floor in front of the letterbox is an envelope that says ""Do not bend""... How am I supposed to pick it up?"

"Australians don't have any problems with gender pronouns... Because we call everyone cunt."

"I hate when people say that I don't like black people I love black people if I could I wold buy myself a few (I'm not a racist in real life though)"

"My friends call me The Archeologist Because I date old, dusty pieces of junk"