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Joke of the Day

"I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc... They'll have to go outside for craps though."

"Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire."

"My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died. He got attacked by a giant crab."

"What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common... The last picture of the Titanic was in Black&White, so was the last picture of the Maple Leafs with the Stanley Cup"

"How come reddit posters have no babies? Because OP never delivers."

"The meat served in IKEA's restaurant is made of people who couldn't find the way out."

"Ultimate confusion What is the ultimate confusion? Two gay guys in a hottub full of sausages."

"Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands."

"A baguette up the butt is a real pain in the ass."

"You guys know Chumbawamba broke up because you kept spelling it ""Chumbawumba,"" right?"