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Joke of the Day

"Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich."

"Why is a wizard so good in bed? Because he is never late, nor is he early. He reaches orgasm precisely when he means to."

"I'm not really a social drinker. I'd say most of my drinking is work related."

"I once played chess with an Egyptian King... ...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh."

"What do you call ghosts commiting bank robberies? The Polterheist"

"ebola jokes ... its all about the execution :')"

"I just got arrested for playing chess in the middle of the road It's because I'm black, isn't it."

"What's the capital of Greece? Right now about $2.55 AUD."

"I'm not sure Hillary should be in Office... The last Clinton left a bad taste in people's mouths."

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"