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Joke of the Day

"Kids we are running late let's go! *Kids I'm going to count every stair on the way down with out my shoes on.*"

"I found Korn in my poop. I'm glad it was Falling Away from Me instead of Coming Undone."

"Two greek anarchists are sitting together making molotov cocktails. One says ""so, who are we going to throw these at?"" the other replies: ""what are you, a fucking intellectual?"""

"Who's your favorite running back? Haha http://www.mayfieldsportsmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Ha-Ha-Clinton-Dix.jpg"

"[NSFW]Honey, I bought flavored condoms... - ... switch off the lights and guess the flavor! - Sardines with cheese! - Wait for me to put it on!"

"R.I.P Satoru Iwata He's pushing Peaches and Daisies now."

"I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall."

"I keep writing letters to myself. Dear me."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch."

"I've worked at my job for 7 years & my boss still hasn't noticed that I only give Magic 8-Ball responses to all of his questions."