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Joke of the Day

"What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both glide around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!"

"Valentines Day Drinks: $80. Dinner: $75. The room: $250. The look on his face when she says ""I'm on my period"": Priceless."

"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."

"Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman? He never delivered."

"The only problem with shopping online is that you can't sit on a bench in the mall and judge everyone else who walks by."

"Some say money talks Mine just says goodbye"

"My street looks like a garbage dump... ...litter ally!"

"What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress? Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)"

"Yeah I'm married, but get one thing straight, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanfdsskk THIS IS SHAUN'S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT."

"Scientists have discovered the number one food that kills a woman's sex drive Wedding cake"