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Joke of the Day

"I don't think Santa would be able to visit USA this year! After all, Donald Trump hates them with beards!"

"According to every 80s movie ever, the only way to get home from school is by standing up in the back of a Jeep Wrangler with 5 other people"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? Hand eyeeeeeeeeee"

"Did you hear about Charlie Sheens new TV show? It's called Two and a Half T Cells."

"What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping? My zipper."

"Actual ""dad"" joke from my dad What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water? Mouse to Mouse resuscitation."

"If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? [NSFW? ] It depends on how hard you throw them."

"[dentist giving me a filling] Me: guh uh hag a hogreg? Dentist stops: what? Me: do you have a boyfriend?"

"After 30 years I still can't figure out how to pronounce ""I'm a lesbian"" so it doesn't sound like ""keep bothering me."""