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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie? A bad judge of character."

"George Clooney has done so much for the world. All of it to try to get us to forget that he was a terrible Batman."

"(Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap... UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki... UPDATE THEM TOO..."

"Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year? He got coal for Christmas."

"What do you call the headquarters of an organization of space terrorists? ISISISS"

"The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep They've got a 2 metre ewe."

"Starbucks this morning looks like a scene from ""The Walking Dead."""

"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."

"Getting directions from Donald Trump is a lot like checking the hour on an analogue clock Always pay attention to where the little hand is pointing"

"*plugs my phone in to charge when it's at 80%* *lets the low battery warning on my fire alarm beep for 6 months*"