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Joke of the Day

"Getting directions from Donald Trump is a lot like checking the hour on an analogue clock Always pay attention to where the little hand is pointing"

"Why are all the best Jazz musicians brown? Because they're great at scatting."

"My girlfriend got an abortion She said she didn't want another sister to compete with."

"The past, the present and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"What do you call an assault which is both positive and negative? A battery."

"Where will the Womens World Cup final be held? Kitchen Stadium"

"[2 guys at open mic night] What are we gonna name our band? [from crowd] look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*"

"I'm bad at Math. The equation 2n+2n is 4n to me."

"Have you heard of the new corduroy pillow? It's making headlines"

"Apparently, ""he's an army officer"" isn't the correct response to ""who's your daddy""."