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Joke of the Day

"(Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap... UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki... UPDATE THEM TOO..."

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"Food is like dark humor.. Not everyone gets it."
"My friend, upon hearing that Chris Pratt will be in the new Jurassic World film... Are you looking forward to Jurassic Parks and Recreation?"
"What is a trailer park's favorite game? Twister"
"I was two woman away from having a threesome last night"
"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect."
"95% of people masturbate while showering, the rest sings one specific song, which one?... No idea? Then I know what group you belong to ;)"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8, 9/11 was an inside job"
"My friend hates theme parks because he doesn't like the idea of waiting for 5 hours for 2 minutes of pleasure. And yet he still goes on dates."
"Why was Henry the Eighth so fat? Because he Tudor house."
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