193774

Joke of the Day

"frodo: [doesnt know how to get to mordor, doesnt know how to fight, doesnt know who he should actually trust] i need to do this alone"

"Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex"

"Why would Gabe Newell be a good president? Because then World War 3 would never happen"

"What kind of Bee is full of milk? A BooBee."

"A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad."

"How do you get everyone to click on your post? [NSFW] Put [NSFW] in the title."

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"

"So, I walk in on daughter masturbating with a carrot. I shout, ""Fuck! Seriously? I was going to eat that later, and now it's just going to taste like carrots!"""

"Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and it's all over their land."

"So I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV I then shouted, ""Hey that is mine!"" but I then realised that mine was at home polishing my shoes"