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Joke of the Day

"*Bricks getting laid* Brick Layer: ""Oh yeah! You like that shit don't you!"""

"Why do pedophiles love reddit? There are so many immature assholes."

"Mom: ""Why are your eyes dilated?"" Me: ""Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love"" Mom: ""What were you looking at?"" Me: ""Memes"""

"The only requirement to work at Hot Topic is the manager has to be able to shove a softball through your ear gauges."

"Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog."

"What's worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm.... Getting a bus from the plane to the terminal"

"What's green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table."

"Why couldn't the whore house build a second story? To much fucking overhead"

"Some girl asked what my sign was. I told her it was ""beware of dog"" and then I dry humped her leg."

"Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot he'd beat her with a shovel!"