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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot he'd beat her with a shovel!"

"What type of car would the Hamburglar drive? A Hamburghini."

"Skrillex is living proof that our society isn't completely superficial yet and that most of my farts should be winning Grammys."

"When do cows go to sleep? When it's pasture bedtime"

"What do you call a smart plumber? A wisecrack."

"Which blood type was created by mistake? Type O."

"""You snooze, you lose."" -competitive insomniacs"

"{Driving behind semi} *Sees the 'How Am I Driving' sign* *Panics* Hello?! There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving"

"I'm not normally a name-dropper but Tiger Woods asked me to start his car in the dream I just had."

"I heard Donald Trump's apartment is made completely from marble. Apart from the showers. Those are golden."