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Joke of the Day

"Some girl asked what my sign was. I told her it was ""beware of dog"" and then I dry humped her leg."

"I bet if you punched Pamela Anderson in the boob it would leave an impression like those Temperpedic beds."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles. (read it out loud if you do not get it)."

"What did the right butt cheek say to the left butt cheek? *""Let's get together and stop this crap!""*"

"My Life I just lost like 500 on betting..What the fuck am i doing with my life"

"[God creating hairless cats] How about some foreskin with night vision."

"""Do you masturbate?"" Friend:""Do you Jack off? Me:""Yes, I do"". Friend:""How many guys a day?"""

"Why does it suck to be black and Jewish? You have to sit at the back of the furnace."

"What is the most popular bank in Wales? Welsh Fargo... ...gramps made me do it."

"The stock market monitors Chuck Norris."