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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."

"I'm at my most insecure when asked if I want to save changes made to a document when I am sure I did not make any changes at all."

"When I become a ghost, Im going to leave messages in blood, but theyre gonna be overwhelmingly positive, like ""You're Doing A Great Job"""

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea He said he couldn't complain"

"When a woman says ""WHAT did you just say?"" say something different."

"Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave? Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven."

"Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A: The tame way -- unique up on him."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? He comes once per year."

"Dude, did you hear Willy Nelson's gone..? Yeah..he's on the road again."

"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you."