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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again."

"Why did the woman cross the road? Good fucking question, I need to get stronger locks for the home dungeon."

"How do you stay hidden in the Desert? Camal-Flage"

"I have the body of a 20 year old model... Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer."

"Why was the jacket stinky? Because it was a windbreaker."

"What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? ...Baaaaaahumbug"

"What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks? Beep Beep Beep..."

"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."

"Why are there only 49 Miss Black America contestants? ..Because none of them want to be Miss. Idaho"

"[tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend."