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Joke of the Day

"Why are there only 49 Miss Black America contestants? ..Because none of them want to be Miss. Idaho"

"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"I've heard the crime rate in the Philippines drops when Manny Pacquiao fights... The crime rate also drops in Floyd Mayweather's home when Floyd Mayweather fights."

"Whoever coined the term ""gross profit"" wasn't getting paid for their job."

"How did the blind man pass the eye exam? He just kept walking"

"What do you tell a gardener with a psych major? I fucking hate my mom."

"I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed."

"If at first you don't succeed, it's called 'Attempted' Murder."

"How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for? Pound an alarm"

"I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick. So I took it to the dock."